A New Beginning

“When you think back and replay your year if it doesn't bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted.” –John “The Biscuit” Cage

2011 was full of tears.

My long-term relationship of 9 years ended abruptly and badly in April.  I kept the house and three of four cats.

Afterward, I immersed myself with work. Field season proved to be a huge success in terms of capturing, tagging, and tacking our target critter in the Florida Everglades. Pretty much the exact opposite of 2010.

July 4th is when I lost my mind and spent the remainder of the summer and most of the fall on a complete bender. I drank … a lot. I was angry and hurt. I was afraid. My self esteem was crap. I was continually beating myself up.

I still danced, taught SPINNING, and practiced yoga. I got a road bike and took it out all the time. I read several books that I’d been meaning to read. I made some new friends. I meditated. Still, all the things that once gave me great joy were now only distractions.

“And, it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off.” –Florence & the Machine

November is when I pulled it back together. I curbed the destructive behavior. I began to hold my head up, look people in the eye, and smile. I started to do the things I liked to do again because I liked to do them. The new friends I’d made were still around even though I’d been a total ass. My old friends were still there, too.

I made it. And, I’m not saying that I don’t still have bad days. Of course, I have bad days. Everyone has bad days. I just don’t let them rearrange my outlook anymore.

You know, I feel more like me than I’ve ever felt before. I’m young, intelligent, independent, and in the best shape of my life. I’ve been given an opportunity to start over and learn from my mistakes. I look forward to the challenge. From now on, it’s Go, Do, Be, and Have Fun.

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” –Ralph Waldo Emmerson

At the end of every year, I like to recap my resolutions before making new ones.

2011 Resolutions

1. When shopping, park my car in a space farther from the front door.

This became a habit fairly quickly.  And, I honestly believe that it saves me time.  No more driving around the parking lot looking for an empty space. 

*Keeper*

2. Take one *interesting photo every day for the entire year.

I tried very hard to hold to this resolution, but did not succeed completely. There were times when I would miss 4 or 5 days in a row, not wanting to touch or even look at my camera.  Still I never gave up. I covered 314 of 365 days. 

*Still undecided about what kind of photography project (if any) I will attempt in 2012.*

3. Get on the yoga mat at least once a week.

This resolution also did not happen completely.  However, yoga became an integral part of my life during the spring and summer months.  I took several Hot Yoga classes and also expanded into Metta Meditation this fall.  There were days this year that the only place I could find peace was on the mat, linking breath to movement and focus.

*Keeper*

4. Bring no more plastic bags into the house.

Cashiers still look at me funny when I say, “I don’t need a bag, thanks!” and walk out with whatever I bought in my hand. I also placed a couple reusable bags in my car (and stashed one in my purse).  Easy peasy.  No more plastic bags.

*Keeper*

5. My small healthy change in 2011 was to replace my office chair with a balance ball.

*Keeper*

“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better [hu]man.” –Benjamin Franklin

2012 Resolutions

1. See the Black Keys live.

Although their tour for the winter and spring are in cities far away from the southeast (closest is Charlotte, NC, in March), I have no doubt they will hit up the summer music festival scene. I am there.

2. Read the directions.

More than once over the last year, skimming and not thoroughly reading the directions has put me in a pickle. This has to stop.

3. Floss everyday.

My childhood dentist had a sticker on his adjustable lamp. It read, “Ignore your teeth and they’ll go away.”  It took me into adolescence to get it – sarcasm was mostly lost on me as a child.  Heh, in fact, it still kinda is.  Anyway, I have always had great teeth. Pretty white chompers. Hardly a cavity. There’s just one thing – I hate flossing.  I am notorious for only flossing when something gets stuck up in there or the week prior to a checkup so as to “fool” the hygienist.  On my recent checkup, I sat in the chair of a new-to-me dental hygienist.  She scared me straight. “It’s the difference between keeping your teeth until you eighty or losing your teeth at sixty.” Point taken.

4. Have lunch away from my desk.

Too many days I have lunch at my desk, staring at my computer trying to catch or finish up and being completely anti-social.  Not anymore. I will take the time to lunch with my colleagues, interns, and friends (preferably outside, when the weather is nice).

5. My small healthy change in 2012 will be to replace rice with quinoa whenever possible.

Happy New Year!